It could be true... BHP to acquire world’s listed airlines

BHP Billiton has launched a hostile takeover of the entire listed airline industry. The announcement was contained in a footnote at the mining giant's recent AGM. When questioned on the sidelines about the transaction, a spokesman for BHP, I. Ron Steele, advised that the decision to buy all 90-odd listed airlines in the world was an afterthought and would not have a major impact on the company's core strategy. "This is a relatively minor transaction for us," said Mr Steele, before adding: "No, we have no intention of entering the airline business."

Senior analyst Saul D Mysole, of Fatbank, which engineered the deal and will be receiving its modest standard 15% commission, said: "The move was a logical one. BHP's market cap is USD258 billion and the entire airline industry's listed value is only USD200 billion. So it is not a big deal for BHP really. The key to the transaction is that this way, the company can get its hands on vastly more debt than it could ever dream of otherwise. Nowhere else can a company make a regular return on investment of less than 1% and borrow the amount of money these suckers can. The airlines obviously have some special magic. And BHP wants in."